I am, therefore I think

Missing the Plot...

2011-12-15T13:40:00.000-08:00

This past Tuesday we studied the Parable of the Rich Young Man (Mark 10:17-31). For those of you unfamiliar, this rich man comes to Jesus (the story never mentions that the man is young, and I forget why the story is titled with young included, so I don't know why its mentioned so) and asks Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life. Jesus responds "Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not bear false witness (lie), do not defraud (cheat), honor your father and mother"... and the rich man says that he does them all. Jesus looks at him lovingly and then tells him that he lacks one thing: to sell all that he has and give to the poor." This is the context for the famous phrase, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God"...

Now, first off, it struck me how infrequently this passage is taught at church. The few times that I had heard it, I remember the pastor softening the message by adding qualifiers like, "You actually don't have to sell all your possessions, you just have to be willing to, were God to call you to do so." That doesn't seem to make sense to mel I feel like it would be more genuine were you to say that the teaching is tough (one could say 'impossible'?) rather than trying to make following Jesus easily accessible and comfortable. What is so wrong by saying, "this is tough, I'm not sure I can do it let alone tell others to do the same?" That seems to be a more honest understanding of the passage than lessening the power of Jesus' words. But that is all stuff I had thought of before.

The significant thing I wrestled with since Tuesday is simply this: In most, if not all, of our churches today, the rich man in our story would be the stereotypical model Christian! He didn't murder anyone, didn't commit adultery, didn't steal, lie, or cheat... he even honored his father and mother! And then add to all that the fact that he was wealthy (hello Puritan work ethic!)... If you were to judge the externals, that is future (if not present) deacon material! Yet even he had the self-awareness that something was missing. And that is when Jesus pointed out where the man was lacking - the heart.

The question I'm left with is this: How often does our Christian message go beyond the externals? Have we as Christians created a culture where the heart no longer matters, with the paradigm of faith being one that focuses on the external measures of behavior and, unfortunately, wealth? (And we have all heard of our fellow Christian brothers and sisters who teach that wealth is a sign of God's blessing *cough*gag*blech)

This past Sunday, my friend Dave Miller asked a question that seems to sum this quandary up: Are we as Christians content with loving the idea of Jesus, or are we actually in love with Jesus? I think to be in love with Jesus suggests the type of infatuation, of out of control-ness, which would cause a rich man to sell all his possessions and give the proceeds to the poor. He doesn't need qualifiers or a softening of the message to make it more palateable... he's in LOVE! There is nothing that can be asked of him that he wouldn't do (were he called to do so, you know, if God would have wanted that, etc etc).

So to wrap it up, I think its a good question to ask of ourselves individually, especially as we approach the time of the year when we celebrate Jesus' birth.... are we in love with Jesus, or in love with the idea of Jesus? And as a church, have we missed the plot, creating a system that focuses on the externals rather than the heart? Tough questions, probably with tough answers... Let's all spend some time this Christmas appreciating the fact that Jesus does love us in the way we could only dream of loving him!

What Does a Christian Look Like?

2011-08-23T17:38:00.000-07:00

At church we just wrapped up a series on faith in the workplace. It was really interesting, and above all else, we came up with the realization that how one can only define the expression of one's faith at work. There is no cookie cutter all encompassing model for how faith can be exemplified in all work situations, mainly because one's workplace is so unique. It was exciting for me as a pastor to hear the others at church brainstorm how their understandings of being Christian in the workplace. This past week we even had guest speakers come in and share about living out their faith in their chosen field of modeling and entertainment! I think it does a lot to empower people when they have the freedom to discover this themselves, rather than having their behavior mandated onto them... often by someone who has little or no understanding of what its like to have their job/ work at their workplace.

With that being said, I've been thinking a lot about what qualities are/ should be distinctives for people in ministry. The one that I keep coming back to is humility.

Honestly, it may have been because I was so humbled from my recent mission trip to Oaxaca that I described in my last post. It was humbling being sick for the majority of the trip, humbling with the realization that even my health and well being was not up to me. My health is really in God's hands. The ability to communicate with the people we were ministering to/ with, er, more like the inability to communicate, was humbling for me as well. Not feeling well physically while not being able to communicate led me to a lot of introspection about how much of my ministry I felt was in my own hands, in my own control. In Nouwen's words, we in ministry are truly "wounded healers," broken vessels that God chooses to use to reconcile people to Him and introduce them to His Kingdom.

I don't know what it is about ministry, but it sure seems like humility is a quality rarely seen in the profession. And that's unfortunate. I don't know if its pride in having things seemingly figured out, to a competitiveness rooted in feeling the need to appear more successful than the church down the street, or maybe it is rooted in the misconception that we as ministers are "closer" to God or "speak" for God. The unfortunate thing about my last mission trip was that I even noticed in amongst the pastors in Mexico. It may even be more difficult to work together as churches in Mexico than in the States; and we know how hard it is in the States. One of the experiences that stuck out in my mind was when we were building a house for this woman who was getting evicted from her house. As we were taking a break for lunch and driving to the house where we were to eat, we drove past the Baptist pastor whose "territory" the house laid in. The pastor would not even acknowledge us; we were told later that he was not that pleased that we were invading his turf. BLECH.

But it was interesting, the same pastor who experienced that blatant lack of comraderie expresses the same sort of jealousy/ dysfunction regarding another ministry partner of Dave because of who knows what reasons. He would not even greet this other minister when he came to the house to drop off Dave and Chelle. SERIOUSLY???

I guess at the end of the day, I can only be responsible for myself. It was funny, after coming back from Mexico I was back on my usual schedule where on Tuesdays I volunteer at an afterschool program for kids on Skid Row. I was cleaning the bathrooms (which is the best way to assist the staff there with the multitude of responsibilties they have), and another volunteer commented on how humbling it must be. And it was funny, the entire time I was cleaning, I felt humbled because I knew that I wasn't even good at cleaning the bathrooms! (It's true, there's no way I could clean bathrooms and get paid. I'm sure they only tolerate my shoddy job because I'm volunteering to do it).

To close on a sad note, even though humility is such an honorable and essential character trait I believe for people in ministry, I too rarely do a good job of exemplifying it myself. Let's hope that I get better at it over time, because I really have a long way to go to being a minister that I would respect, haha!

Have my cloak, and my Ipod too?

2011-08-10T21:53:00.000-07:00

My first thoughts on my recent mission trip to Mexico were about poverty issues, and just how complex the issues were. Nicole and I spent a week with Dave, Chelle, Molly, and Mary in Tlacolula and San Baltazar, cities outside of Oaxaca. It was a week of mind blowing stories for both of us. At San Baltazar, we met people on the other side of the immigration "debate"; people that were deported from the states after paying coyotes thousands of dollars to sneak across the border. In fact, we met people that worked at the Noah's Bagels and Cheesecake Factory restaurants in Santa Monica.... and these people were in San Baltazar, a town of a couple thousand in one of the poorest areas of Oaxaca, the second poorest state in Mexico.

The fact of the matter is this: there are no jobs in San Baltazar... and when US tariff/ subsidy policies drove Mexican farmers out of business, the situation was just exacerbated and the injustice of US foreign policy regarding our neighbors to the south was brought out into the light. It was wild, San Baltazar doesn't have a radio station, they have loudspeakers on tops of buildings. And on those loudspeakers, they had announcements about when the next "trip" up north was going to happen and where to meet the coyotes. Wild. But it gets worse.

In areas like San Baltazar, there is a big problem with pedophilia and dysfunctional sexuality as well. 30 year old men marrying 14 or 15 year old girls... fathers sexually abusing their children or leaving their 20 year old wives for 15 year old girls. And that is without even talking about the educational/ employment disparities between men and women.

That's what makes what Dave and his partners in Oaxaca are trying to do that much more exciting. In an area where there are no jobs and often no hope, we spent a week teaching the women of San Baltazar sewing techniques with the intention of providing them tools to potentially earn incomes/ provide clothes for their children and families. (Along with that came the farming/ harvesting aspect of AIL's ministry in Oaxaca, which I will touch on in a later entry).

It's after a week in Oaxaca dealing with those sorts of issues that I lost my IPod in Mexico City. The night before Nicole and I left for home, I realized that my IPod was missing... and after scouring our room I realized that it was not in my bag, or Nicole's bag, or under the bed, or behind the nightstand...anywhere. After going down to the front desk, the woman behind the desk stated that only the cleaning person has keys to the rooms; so they were the only other person with access to our room.

The next afternoon, as Nicole and I were waiting for our taxi to the airport, the cleaning person was wrapping up her shift and walking around the same lobby that we were sitting in.... and that's when I had my inner dialogue as to whether to confront her about my IPod, which at that point I was 93.25% sure she had taken. But I didn't. I thought of the previous week and a half in Oaxaca... I thought of the obvious lack of employment opportunities even in Mexico City. I thought of how she could very well (should?) lose her job for stealing my IPod.... then I thought of how she would then be added to the numbers of unemployed. I actually visualized her being one of those annoying music box performers that plague the city. And it just didn't seem worth it anymore to claim justice for myself; her job was more important than my IPod.

Reflecting now, I feel like I understand more now about what Jesus was talking about when he said to give your shirt as well when your neighbor sues you for your coat. Sometimes, getting justice for yourself is just not worth it.

The luxury of a good night's sleep and why I whine too much

2011-05-05T01:23:00.000-07:00

I whine too much. Since turning thirty, or at least that's when I've convinced myself it started, I began enduring phases of insomnia. Initially, it was weird, as I've never had a problem falling asleep anytime during my youth. I remember even sleeping leaning against a wall once. Now, if I'm in the middle of something, or if I am even thinking about being in the middle of something, during those insomniac phases, it'd be "good luck" sleeping any time before three. And the hideous thing (and probably a reason why I whine so much during these times), is that from 1:00 to 3:00, I'm completely braindead and useless. I might as well be sleeping, except that I can't. It sucks.

However, the past couple of weeks, I've realized that I whine too much and need to stop complaining. You see, as I've been volunteering at Central City Community Outreach's "Say Yes!" afterschool program, I've been humbled with the realization that all my years of not having to worry about sleeping were indeed a gift. The fact that my bed was a place of refuge: a luxury. Let me explain.

Two weeks ago, I was helping one of the young boys with his homework... and it was a pain trying to get him to concentrate. He just kept complaining about being itchy and scratching his arms and legs. After a while, I got the distinct notion that finishing his homework was a major concern of only one of us. For the other, it was relieving the itchiness. I thought about getitng him some Calamine lotion, or whatever that pink lotion is that you put on your skin when its itchy... but it got me thinking, "Why is he itchy?" so I asked him. He replied, "I was up all night because I kept getting bit by "bit bugs," they come out at night. "Bit bugs?"

Lightbulb comes on.

He meant "bed bugs"... and when he said he was up all night, he probably was! His bed was not a safe place, as he would lie down hoping to sleep, only to get bitten like crazy when he did. So not only was he suffering from the bites and the itchiness they brought about, but from not being able to sleep! It got me thinking about how I took merely sleeping for granted for most of my life.

Second story. This past week, I was tutoring another young boy... who's just incredibly smart. I remember working with him on his math, and he literally would have the answer before I finished reading the questions! (Of course, it was because he just posited that the question utilized the two sets of numbers included in the paragraph length question... so he just plugged the numbers into his subtraction formulas while I was reading about how many apples Martha lent to her friend). I've worked with him before, so I was concerned when he just started yawning, talking about how tired he was, and eventually just putting his head on the desk between questions. Something was up.

Not only that, his younger brother is narcoleptic. On the days that I volunteer, the kids walk to Inner City Arts, where they get a weekly art class. I try to walk last, to make sure that we don't lose any kids, or have some kids fall behind, on our 5-10 block walk from the Inner City Arts campus to Central City. But this week, the younger brother and his college helper started lagging behind, as he kept walking slower and slower... and slower...and alarmingly slower. The craft for the week was making masks, so it was hard to tell what was going on... so I decided to look through the eye holes to see what was going on. And they were closed. He was sleeping! (but still walking... I wouldn't call it sleepwalking, because he was still functioning, holding his helper's hand, walking, etc.)

The Central City staff were already aware, as he occassionally just fell asleep.... during dinner, during lessons, during homework time. And why? It's a sad story.

I guess their father got deported, so it was them and their mom. The family initially were all going to go back, but the mom thought she could continue working so that their sons would be able to continue going to school in the States. But to help make ends meet, the mom would head out at night with the boys and collect cans at night. So these boys, I'd guess they are around 5 and 7 years old, would be out at night collecting cans with their mom.

Can you blame them then if its hard to concentrate/ stay awake the following day?

I don't know the solution to these types of issues, but it breaks my heart that the kids with the highest need to succeed are oftentimes the ones with the most hurdles to overcome. I truly pray that the kids the staff at Central City ministers to can fulfill their potential and succeed desipte having the odds stacked against them. The longer I'm in the city, the more I've realized why God has placed the inner city in my heart. And the more I'm realizing the opportunities for "the church" to really be "the church." In the case of these kids in the "Say Yes!" program, it's about supporting the staff and ensuring that ministries and ministers like them are given the support and encouragement to keep fighting the good fight.

Why "I" Need A Multi-everything Ministry

2011-03-12T12:54:00.000-08:00

My head has been a jumbled mess for the last couple of days. Since Thursday night, I've been watching CNN pretty much all the time... and I've been speaking with many caring friends and neighbors who have asked whether my family was okay. And though I'm thankful that my family and relatives were relatively unaffected (they live in Kobe, which is towards the southern part of Honshu, the main island), it has bothered me how I could celebrate at the same time that thousands of others were mourning the loss of their families, friends, and/ or hometowns.

It continued to bother me when I juxtaposed my current CNN infatuation with my reaction to the disaster in Haiti in 2010, or the earthquake in Chile that occurred several months after that. I cared enough to watch the news, but after lifting some prayers up, I moved onto whatever else I was thinking about... I moved on because there was no emotional connection. Those events mattered to me in the same sense that it matters when I see traffic collisions on the freeway... it's because I care whether people were hurt or not. But once the gridlock is over, so are my concerns about those affected. It doesn't mean that the ramifications are over for those involved though... it just doesn't matter to me anymore because there's no interpersonal connection to it.

I'm sure that many Japanese-American and Asian-American churches are going to highlight Japan during Sunday services, and many may mobilize mission trips to Japan this summer. And that is great and much needed, as we're going to continue hearing about the magnitude of the devastation in the coming days/ weeks. The question that lingers in my mind is where my own impassioned concern was for those people affected in Haiti and Chile just last year?

Why do I merely care about what directly affects me... and as a Christian, shouldn't I care about, or try to care about, everything and everyone that matters to God?

That fact is why I need a multi-everything ministry. I want/ need to care when I watch the news and hear about what is happening in the Middle East or (insert latest global current event in this space). Growing up in a relatively affluent Japanese American church shielded me and my faith from issues of global poverty; God used my mission trips to Mexico later on to open my eyes to how God loves the poor. And my growing understanding of that concern opened my eyes to issues of local poverty and spurred my passion for volunteering with organizations in Skid Row along with learning about the importance of advocacy for public schools and other issues that matter to those in poverty.

That is why I need a multi-everything ministry. I need those suffering in poverty to open my eyes to how they are needing and experiencing God's love; I need people dealing with immigration to open my eyes to God's love for the foreigner and the "alien"... and to inform my theology on those issues. The same applies for my relatively late to the table passion for sexual and marriage equality. Those issues matter to me because they matter to God.

Coming up with theological presuppositions are easy when they exclude the other; I need a multi-everything ministry to minimize who I consider "the other."

God is a lot bigger than any one nationality, ethnicity, gender, socioeconomic status, sexual preference, or any other man made division of God's creation (see Galatians 3:28) ... I've just grown to the point in my own faith journey that I need to worship God in a setting where those divisions are minimized or at least acknowledged. That's why I need a multi-everything ministry!

To wait, or not to wait...

2011-02-10T23:42:00.001-08:00

This past week I had the opportunity to attend a symposium on Asian American Theology at Fuller Seminary. It was a great time, but at the same time I realized how differently I thought than some (or possibly most?) of my colleagues.
During one of the small group breakout sessions, one of my peers mentioned how he couldn't wait for Jesus to come back so he could go to Heaven... and as everyone else was either affirming that comment or nodding their head in agreement... that statement bothered me. And then the fact that it bothered me bothered me.
You see, I'm sorta enjoying being here right now. We're just getting the church plant going (www.2ndcommunity.ning.com), and it's been exciting dreaming about how we can be a positive presence in the downtown Little Tokyo/ Skid Row areas of Los Angeles. And it's fun dreaming.
During our weekly services, we've been going through a series on "God's Kingdom in the City," and each week we've been going through Bible passages that speak of ministering in the community that God has placed you (Jer. 29), what the kingdom of God looks like, and being an intercessor for people. And I think its that last point that explains why I was bothered with the stereotypical Christianese comment of not being able to wait to go to Heaven.
In Genesis 18, Abraham intercedes on behalf of the people of Sodom. Though he was not from Sodom, he pleaded with God to save the people from His judgment, convincing God to spare the city for the sake of fifty... then forty-five, then forty... all the way down to five.
You see, even though the story does not end with the city of Sodom being saved, we as the church plant want to intercede on behalf of the people will have met/ will be meeting as we seek God's kingdom in our city. And as much as I do intend on enjoying Heaven... I'm excited about the opportunity of introducing our God to the people that live in our communities, and interceding on behalf of the ones we hadn't met yet.
To wrap up this post, I recently listened to a sermon from Shane Hipps, and he mentioned something that fits in with what I've been thiking about.... speaking hypothetically to Christians who have decided to just sit and wait for Jesus to come back, he asked, "What will make Heaven so different? God has given us the privilege to be in His presence, in His kingdom here on earth... so why do you want to just wait to revel in God's presence when you can active participants in His kingdom here, now?" And that just makes a lot of sense to me... AMEN!

Mike Beck helped me find my way

2010-10-23T20:57:00.000-07:00

A little over two years ago, I left traditional vocational ministry because I felt a need to be on the "front lines" of ministry. I had grown tired of reminding people of our callings to life like Jesus, and wanted to model it myself... and that was just something I felt incompatible with being a pastor.

Soon after, I was blessed to work on the "front lines," working for a great organization called PATH, working to get homeless off the streets... yet it was soon apparent to everyone, including myself, that my time at PATH was my "Jonah" moment (as mentioned to me by the volunteer coordinator at PATH, a great godly woman). God had in fact called me into the ministry for a reason, and even though I was trying to live out my faith to the best of my ability, I was in the wrong place.

But simply going back to traditional church was unacceptable to me... so for the last two years, I've been trying to figure out what to do. And the answer that I came up with was to merge my two previous experiences together! Things kept coming together, I kept getting introduced to like minded people who also wanted to try to plant a new church... got encouragement from my friends and mentors who offered their support, and to make a long journey short... we started meeting informally as a CORE group in October with the hope to officially launch in January.

So this past week I started putting legs on who we're going to be, identity wise. Had great meetings with Central City Community Outreach and St. Vincent De Paul, organizations focused on ministry in Skid Row... and just dreamed about ways our future congregation could partner with them.

That being said... without having a real "congregation" at this point, it was difficult to grab hold of because all this talk was theoretical... I need to talk to people, hear their stories, to connect. So it was with that void that I met Mike Beck tonight.

It was one of those chance meetings, as I was just taking my recycling out to the recycle bin in the alley... I just noticed Mike sitting in between two parked cars so I asked him if he was hungry.... after he said yes, well actually, I think his exact words were, "Are you serious? Definitely." So I went back to my place and quickly prepared him a plate and a drink from the fridge and sat with Mike and had one of those preordained conversations that just shout out the presence of God...

He shared how he became homeless, how it's been tough to get out of the downward cycle, and the hopelessness that characterizes his daily life. Mike then went on to ask how I was doing and what I do.. and when I told him about how I'm a pastor, he just nodded and told me how that made sense... he told me, "I can't explain it, but I can tell you just care about people." Yikes... pretty hard to explain how it felt to be told that... but generally speaking, it was one of those times when you feel you hear that still small voice of God telling you that He loves you.

So wrapping up my conversation (and this blog post), I asked Mike if there was anything that I could be praying for him... and he said, "Boy... that's a tough question... but just ask God that He help Mike Beck find his way.... yeah, that he help me find my way." So as I pray that prayer for my new friend Mike (and hopefully you can as well as you read this post)... I thank God for Mike Beck, and how God used him to remind me that I'm who He wants me to be, and that I'm doing something that makes Him smile.

A Theology of Gray

2010-08-15T01:08:00.001-07:00

The older I get, the less I care about being "right." Growing up in church, I was taught what to believe and how to act... you know, "Jesus would want you to do this, think this way, etc." And that was fine for me at the time; it helped mold me into the person I am now. Those moral teachings kept me out of trouble (except when the rebel in me came out and I intentionally did what I wanted to do irregardless of what I learned in Sunday School) and played a huge role in developing my worldview.

A curious thing happened though as I got older though; I started asking questions. Simply being told what to believe was no longer good enough for me. It was becoming more evident that the simple black and white world of ethics, decision making, and of faith I was taught was theoretical and not an accurate description of the reality I was living in and witnessing. I needed a faith that was more malleable, that helped explain the out of sorts world I lived in without the rigidity and fundamental propositional belief "requirements" allegedly so important for my faith.

As I was figuring out what to do with my life, I decided to attend a seminary that was widely denounced amongst those same people as "liberal" or "heretical" or "dangerous"... but by then the opportunity to flex was a much more exciting a possibility for me than continuing to exist in the theological rigidity that was slowly choking the life out of my faith, let alone also becoming alien to the culture I was attempting to live faithfully in. And at that school, my faith was challenged on nearly a daily basis. I learned so much, though oftentimes wondered if I opened Pandora's Box and was learning things I didn't want to know about the Bible and my faith ... but I loved it! During my time in seminary, I was systematically deconstructed and rebuilt... but rebuilt into someone who preferred to exist in the murky gray areas rather than the clear and already defined black and white.

"I don't know," or "I don't have a clue" became acceptable answers to questions of faith...(Well, except at my ordination hearing. What I viewed as intellectual honesty was not lauded in the fashion I would have hoped for).

But having such a "theology of gray," I found, singled me out more than unified me with the church establishment... and I experienced immense discouragement as I realized existing in the gray areas outcasted me from a church culture that thrived on pretending that the world was black and white. (Though I readily admit at the same time that during this time I lacked all sorts of humility and acted like an arrogant bastard who lorded my sense of rightness over people).

Yet this theology of gray linked me with people outside the church... people who didn't grow up with the rote answers to the deeper questions of life... if they were asking those questions at all. So even though I'm walking the fine line to heresy, as some may say, the faith that God is developing within me is one that has application and relevance to real life. And I'm okay with that now.

I love God more than ever before, though I readily admit that I know a whole lot less than I ever thought I did... but that's okay! God has given me a humility (though I'm still a work in progress, believe you me) that accepts the fact that I may be wrong much more than I'm right... or scarier yet, that this whole concept of faith may be a whole lot grander and more immense than I'm aware of or even comfortable with.... but that's okay too! It truly leaves me with a concept of God that is much larger than I could conceive of or imagine.... and something in me tells me that that's probably how it should be.

Mexico Mission Trip Reflection, final part

2010-08-02T22:32:00.000-07:00

It's been over a week since I've been back... so even though I feel I can continue my reflections of my time in Mexico ad infinitum, I feel like I need to wrap these up in order to look forward. I've been self-conscious, that if I continue these reflection pieces for much longer, that I'll be risking becoming one of those people who stay in the past. Thus, the final question I'll be covering is this-

Q: What has God taught me during my time in Mexico, and how can that transfer to life at home?

This was probably the hardest question for me to answer when Dave asked it the first time; I was struggling with wanting to get home. It was doubly tough because I have to admit, I never had a heart for Mexico. In fact, I remember when I began in ministry, I had expressed my conviction that I would never go on missions to Mexico because I did not have a heart for the people or the country.

* It is probably wise at this point to describe how the history of my faith journey has been filled with numerous times when God has challenged me to go much further than I was personally willing to go. When I was interning at Evergreen, Pastor Ken challenged me to minister outside of the Asian American ministry context that I was familiar with.... and that challenge led to five years at Panorama that has shown me that God's ideal is infinitely greater than the ethno-centric limited vision I had before. Ministering at Panorama also directly resulted in the beginning of my missions experiences in Mexico with Dave and Adventures in Life. This has led to my clearer understanding of a "theology of discomfort" where God oftentimes is where I'm too uncomfortable to be under my own power.

With that background, I hope you can understand the divine comedy of how I have ended up working with Dave in Mexico for seven of the last eight years! However, the previous six summers were spent in Ensenada (also known as SoCal light), so this year's trip to Merida and Oaxaca was a vastly different challenge. This trip was truly into the heart of Mexico. But after the two weeks I was there, the only emotions I could muster were of apathy and indifference... like ministry in Oaxaca would be a battle for others to fight.

Yet an interesting thing happened upon coming back. People told me they were praying for me... people asked how my trip went... and I realized that it was a great experience, one that I was fortunate to have had! And not only that, I started thinking about how to do things better next year. The amazing also started happening... I began wanting to go back... ok, ok, ok, let's not go overboard with this enthusiasm, but I just thought it was significant because I'd never felt that way with any of my previous trips. There is a deep and genuine authenticity along with a joie de vivre amongst the kids and others we engaged with that was both refreshing and captivating in retrospect. Though I'll always be a Japanese (American) Europhile at heart, I think I may be falling in love with Mexico. Can't wait to go back!

In the meantime, as we get ready to plant a "different" kind of church, I need to remember the lessons God has taught me over time... that He is often not to be found where I'm comfortable and confident... I need to look to minister where I'm uncomfortable, because that is probably where God is.

Last picture from Mexico, me at a very wet and rainy Monte Alban.

I hope these reflections were coherent and gave you a slight glimpse into my experience and my thoughts regarding my time there. Please contact me if you want to be a part of the team next year!

Mexico Mission Trip Reflection, part three

2010-08-01T21:51:00.000-07:00

Q: How did God encourage me during my trip?

Q: What was the hardest thing for me during my trip?

The next two questions from Dave's reflection time I grouped together (hey, I think its called poetic license... but since I'm the blogger, we can call it blogger's license). I wanted to touch on these questions together because for me, my answers to them are related to each other. Let me explain...
Not knowing Spanish, during the youth camp I was relegated to the sidelines. Being in some form of ministry for the past ten years or so, I've grown to understand that there is a level of narcissism and ego that becomes an embodiment of ministry... being up front... being responsible for the lessons... being the one people come to for help... Henri Nouwen described it perfectly in one of my favorite books, In the Name of Jesus. He calls these temptations the "temptations to be relevant and significant." I know how easy it is to fall prey to these temptations... I could easily point my finger at so many pastors who I feel fall in either of those categories... but I probably just need to worry about myself. I'm not saying it's bad to be needed or counted upon, but what Nouwen is suggesting is that there's something about the power dynamic of being a shepherd of people that can easily lead to developing a Messianic complex.

To fight against this, Nouwen suggested meditation and contemplation. To this, I could add serving a week in Mexico, or any foreign country where you don't know the language and are relegated to the periphery. To this, I add a story of my contribution for the week!

So the first day of the camp, to help alleviate the first day awkwardness, I decided to jump into an impromptu soccer, er, football match that had started up. of course, a bit rough to get into the match with my communication limited to a thumbs up or a thumbs down and pointing to which side to play for, etc... but it worked! Two and a half hours later, we were all getting along, they were calling me Japon, I was calling them Chicharito, Dos Santos, etc., and I had the worst farmer's tan in the country of Mexico.

Now the downside of that happened the last day, when the kids were making their bracelets to help remind them of the Bible lessons they learned during the camp... you know, the black = sin, red = Jesus' blood, etc. Now, you gotta applaud the creativity of the footy kids, but they decided to use craft time to make bracelets exhibiting their patriotism after a week of Japon/ Mexico madness... so they all made bracelets, not with the five colors they learned in Bible lesson time, but of El Tri! (Green, White, and Red). So that was it, my major contribution for the week long youth camp was strengthening their bonds with Mexico.

So that ties in directly with the encouragement that I received that week. It was awesome how the rest of the team connected with the kids. It was cool seeing Jonah connect during the Bible lesson time. It was great seeing the girls connect with Rosie, Yesenia, and Becca... coming up to hug them with such frequency it seemed like they were the best of friends.... and coincidingly, it was cool hearing about the closeness that the team were feeling with the kids too. It was encouraging hearing about the deep conversations that Pablo was having with the older kids after lights out. And it was great seeing how generous Ike, Terry, and Joe were with their expensive camera equipment as they helped the kids dream of being photographers (at least for the duration of the camp).

It was just a great experience seeing a team truly operate as a unit, working together to really accomplish the objective of providing a special week for the kids. And that experience was that much more important for me with the knowledge that I'm gonna be a part of a group that will be planting a church. In many ways, we're gonna be trying to re-write the rule book, so to say. Why does a church need to have a central leader, a figurehead?

Much much more on this in later posts, but for now, the youth camp provided a real glimpse of the possibilties and potential that shows me what could be!

And for the closing picture... just cuz I can.

Mexico Mission Trip Reflections, Part Two

2010-07-30T23:40:00.000-07:00

I ended my last blog entry with the question, "How would your faith be different if you grew up in Oaxaca (rather than Los Angeles)?" To provide context, Dave Miller (the head of Adventures in Life Ministries), asked the mission team this question after our four day youth camp with kids from the outskirts of Oaxaca.

This is significant because the state of Oaxaca is the second poorest state in Mexico. The kids were from the Mazotec tribes who are among the poorest in the state... so literally the poorest of the poor. To help provide a picture of the population we were dealing with; some of the kids, who were amongst the most active during free time... playing soccer, running around, etc... wore the same outfit for four days. Many of the kids also got carsick and threw up on their way to & home from the camp. The roads to their homes were somewhat windy, but Chable (the pastor who directed the camp) said the kids got sick from the windy roads but because the kids were unaccustomed to sitting in actual cars!

One the first day, I had the chance to talk with some of the older kids. This gives further context to the question I'll touch on in a sec. Only one of the teenagers (out of twenty) had ever left the state of Oaxaca... and she had gone to the Yucatan. None of them had passports, so its probable that none of them will ever leave Mexico in their lifetimes. Only one of them had ever eaten any non-Mexican food, and that was a pastor's son who had worked at a Chinese restaurant in the city. At the same time, this kid, whom we thought of as one mof the fortunate ones, also wanted to be a doctor but had to give up his dream because he couldn't afford to go to medical school outside of the city.

With that background, you can see how poignant Dave's question was. How different would one's faith be growing up in Oaxaca rather than Los Angeles, or anywhere in the United States?

My first observation: American Christianity wouldn't work in Oaxaca. I think about what is popular here in the States, with finding your "best life now" or even the emphasis so many churches place on achieving spiritual greatness/ fulfillment in our spiritual journeys... I have the sneaking suspicion that that type of faith just wouldn't resonate.
With that being said, maybe we who go on mission trips needs to re-orient our missions experiences away from "providing all the answers" to allowing the native populations to imagine and define their own spirituality. It saddened me that most of the Christian bookstores we visited during our time in Mexico only sold Spanish translations of American Christian books. That is all fine and good, but without an indigenous spirituality that is rooted in the people's lives and experiences, that speaks to what the people go through, and just simply asking them to adopt a foreign spirituality, are we not just continuing to perpetuate an American Christian hegemony while preventing the spread of an authentic Christianity that would allow God to speak to people's lives in their contexts?

So how would my faith be different? The only way I could conceive of an answer would be with the understanding that I would need to discard my preconceptions of what spirituality is: the longing to be significant, the need to be important, etc. that we are taught each Sunday here in the states and replace that with who knows what?!

I don't know... but a characteristic of an Oaxacan spirituality would undoubtedly be survival, a theology of "making it through the day" rather than being a Christian superstar.

To wrap up this entry, I have a visual illustration. In my last entry, I described a horse led train ride to the cenotes (underground cave pools). There's no way they would have been permissible in the states (animal cruelty along with violation a myriad of safety laws)... but in Mexico, it was just dang fun and it worked! The ride was much better than having to walk the several miles separating the cenotes from each other and the parking lot. So something that might not work in the States is totally fine and works in Mexico. Maybe that's what's needed in imagining an indigenous Christianity for Oaxaca.... hrmm... so until my next entry, I leave you with some pictures!

Mexico Mission Trip Reflection, part 1

2010-07-28T11:12:00.000-07:00

From July 12th to July 24th, I had the amazing opportunity to spend time in two areas of Mexico... from the 12th to the 16th in Merida (Yucatan Peninsula) and then from the 16th to the 24th in Oaxaca. Going in, it was tough for me. Even though I had spent time in Mexico each summer for the past seven years, for various reasons I have never had the passion for Mexico or the people that has been evident in the people I had the privilege of serving with. However, missions in Mexico has been a commitment I have made, and this trip was a revelation for me in allowing me to experience the culture and people of the more southern, less American areas of Mexico.

First off, I really need to learn Spanish! I REALLY need to figure out a way to learn and have some basic understanding of the language before (hopefully) my next trip next summer. From a ministry standpoint, not being able to communicate with the kids at the youth camp we did in Oaxaca, or the ministry partners that we were doing the camp with, relegated me to the sidelines (this was a humbling experience that I will touch on in later blog posts).

In this initial posting, I'll touch on my time in Merida. The temperature was hot and humid, a definite shock from the mild and cool summer weather we've been experiencing living in Santa Monica. And I'm gonna try my hardest not to whine or complain about the mosquitoes, who came out every night and feasted on any area of exposed skin that I had the unfortunate folly of exposing. As opposed to all my previous experiences in Ensenada (with its climate very comparable with Los Angeles), both Merida and Oaxaca are in tropical climates; it rained just about every day.

We went to Chichen Itza, Dzibilchaltun, and some cenotes (underground water holes) during the week that we stayed in Merida. The Mayan ruins were impressive; thinking back to my schooling, you have to think of the Euro-centric prejudicial lens regarding the material we're taught in history class. At least when I was in high school, we may have spent a day or so learning about the Mayans and the Aztecs (no mention of the Zapotecs or Mazotecs!)... I'd be a safe bet to say that most of what we know about these cultures comes from Mel Gibson's Apocalypto! The pyramid at Chichen Itza is impressive, even more so considering it was built literally in the middle of the jungle. Dave (head of Adventures in Life Ministry) and I spent a lot of time contemplating the decision making process in building the pyramid and surrounding temples in the middle of literally nowhere. Dzibilchaltun was frustrating; it was fun being able to climb all over the ruins, but the mosquitoes were possessed.... they bit me constantly THROUGH my clothes... and weren't affected at all by constant swinging of limbs and even attempted swats.

The cenotes were fun; probably the most enjoyable aspect of the particular cenotes that we visited was the horse led train ride. Very unsafe, highly doubt the possibility of a similar type of attraction ever getting approved in the States. But in Mexico, well worth it! It was fun.

The food was definitely different. There was a dearth of tacos in Merida (burritos don't really exist in the parts of Mexico that I visited)... in fact, Merida had more of a European vibe to it than I expected. I guess there is a sizeable Italian/ Spanish population in the Yucatan. We saw many more European tourists than American, which was refreshing and brought out the inner Europhile in me too, hehe.

Anyways, that's enough for today. Tomorrow we'll begin the spiritual element to the trip. I'll probably reflect on the same questions that Dave asked us upon conclusion of the camp. I'll begin by touching on the first question: "How would your faith be different if you grew up in Oaxaca (as opposed to Los Angeles)?

I think I'm a Mennonite!

2010-03-23T13:13:00.001-07:00

First post in a long time. This blogging thing takes a lot of effort.... and my lack of a life leads me to many days of nothing to contribute. Anyways, thinking through different theological issues/ stances in preparation of my church plant have engaged my thoughts a lot recently. Isn't it interesting that there's so much disparity amongst different denominations theologically... yet each one has to come off as utterly convinced they are 100% right? Hrmm... I'm siding with the idea that no one is 100% right all the time, thus we should approach theology with a lot more humility. I always try to live by the words of Karl Barth, who once said that he believed 75% of his theology was correct... he just couldn't tell which 75% it was.

I was listening to a Shane Hipps sermon from a couple months ago when he shared with his new church, Mars Hill Bible Church, about his Mennonite roots.... and guess what? Theological humility was one of its distinctives! So much of what he was describing seemed to resonate with how I thought, I feel a certain kinship with my Mennonite brothers and sisters. I think I'll get super excited the next time I run into a Mennonite... think we're related or something, haha! Here are two other distinctives that Shane mentioned:

1) Taking the Sermon on the Mount seriously. This one doesn't seem that significant... but it is. How many times have you heard "Jesus didn't really mean that..." in reference to a sermon on anything from the Sermon on the Mount? Loving your enemies? Storing treasures in heaven rather than earth? Judging others? Loving your enemies? (this is where Mennonites get their stance on being pacifists) I've heard a lot more sermons teach "this is what Jesus really meant" rather than teaching on taking his words seriously.... and its refreshing to hear how Mennonites challenge themselves to live out what Jesus says.

2) Not having distinctions between who's in and who's out. Mennonites refuse to have such distinctions, allowing the life of faith to challenge everyone on the daily basis. Compared to who we are supposed to be, we are all a whole lot closer to each other than we are to the gold standard of Jesus. Thus its pointless to delineate between who's going to Heaven and who's headed to Hell. That's God's job... in the meantime, each and every one of us is to be stretched and prodded to live out the tremendously counter-cultural teachings shared in the Bible.

So what's not to like about the distinctives of theological humility, taking Jesus' words seriously, and not judging people? I loved hearing it, and for what its worth, I think I'm part Mennonite!

Review: The Jesus Book by Stephen Elkins

2009-09-23T09:53:00.000-07:00

There are so few good Christian children’s books out there, so I wanted to check “The Jesus Book” by Stephen Elkins out. I was interested because of its tagline, “The Ultimate Who, What, When, Where, and Why Book.” Made me think that it was some sort of CSI like investigative book helping kids understand Jesus better. Having friends with young children also made me interested in finding resources I could give my friends to help them begin the process of teaching their kids about Jesus as well.

I was mildly impressed while at the same time being hugely disappointed.

The great thing about the book was how thoroughly Elkins covers the gospel stories. “The Jesus Book” does provide a great overview of the life of Jesus.

There were several issues I had with the content of his entries. One was the continuity of the articles. Though it reads like a book, the actual entries have no interface with each other; they could very easily have been written in any order. To provide one example, the fourth entry, “John the Baptist said Jesus was the Lamb of God” mentions “sinners” for the first time, but “sin” isn’t defined for another fifteen pages. I appreciated Elkins’ attempt at incorporating Greek in a children’s book, but his Greek was incorrect. On page 40, Elkins notes that “baptism” came from the Greek word “bapto.” Unfortunately, it came from “baptizo,” not “bapto.”

Lastly, the overall message disappointed me. Elkins does a great job of touching on deep subjects like repentance and salvation, but settles for the stereotypical watered down version of those terms that fail to mention anything about the rest of the children’s lives. It is immensely important to change our hearts, to confess our sins, and to tell others about the Good News, and I am encouraged that this book will tell kids about that. But the book fails in the overarching narrative of God’s redemption of His creation and how each of his followers plays a role in that. The “Why it Happened” section was woefully inadequate, in my opinion.

Lastly, I was also disappointed in the illustrations of Claudine Gevry. Though I do not want to diminish her talent, I would have hoped for more diversity in the illustrations as well as having a Jesus that looked more Jewish and less Caucasian.

Ministering in a digital age...

2009-09-23T08:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to my monthly pastor's gathering, and one of them mentioned an article towards the end of the meeting that got my mind racing. The article mentions the established leadership in churches today being "analog in a digital age." If that doesn't make sense, what the author is suggesting is that churches are geared towards reaching people of a bygone era - "analog" people. This was fine in the "analog" era, but we're in a "digital" era now.

The pastor also mentioned something Leonard Sweet spoke about at the American Baptist Biennial Conference this past summer in Pasadena. Sweet described a conversation he had with his son as he was telling his son that he had to go to church to experience community. His son responded, knowing that church "community" was sitting in a pew, around a lot of strangers, silently listening as the pastor spoke. He then said, "I could sit at home, join a chat room, and experience community around my friends from around the world that I might never even meet!"

Listening to that story, I was reminded of a book I skimmed through recently, "The Lonely American." The book was written by several pychologists whose premise was that this new culture that we're in now, while changing the definition of terms we thought we had understood such as "community" and "friends," has led to a epidemic rise of loneliness. One interesting note they brought up was how it is more culturally accepted now to be diagnosed as having depression, while many of those diagnosed as depressed are actually just lonely.

The point seems to be that though we may be living in a digital age, there are some essential "human" interactions that we need. Chatting with someone online will never fully replace speaking to someone face to face, in the same way that the Wii Fit could never fully replace getting outside and exercising.

The implication I gained from this is that though there are significant elements of living in the digital age that church leaders will need to accept and address, there are some significant foundational aspects of human interaction that the church needs to highlight.

What changes do you think need to be made? The one obvious thing that jumps out to me is that "church" as we know it is structured to be a performance rather than an interaction. The fact that Leonard Sweet's son (correctly) noted that he would experience a greater sense of community in an online chat room rather than at church is not a condemnation of the times we live in now. It's an assessment that church leaders need to consider seriously. It's not a good thing, and the solution isn't to give up on church, but possibly reconsider aspects of church to incorporate, or to not take for granted, the inherent community that church establishes.

How can we accomplish this? What are your thoughts?

Book Review #1 "The X and Y of Buy"

2009-07-29T02:01:00.000-07:00

I recently signed up with publisher Thomas Nelson to review books for free! Its a great deal, you get a free book, and all you have to do is blog about it and post a review of the book on a retail website. I love Amazon, so I post on there. Here is my first review, on "The X and Y of Buy" by Elizabeth Pace. I wish I could have posted a more positive review, but I had to be honest.... sorry!

I tend to gravitate to books on sales (Why We Buy, The Call of the Mall, etc.), thus was immediately intrigued upon being recommended “The X and Y of Buy.” Overall, I found it an interesting read, though seriously flawed in many respects. In order to highlight the positives, there is a need to point out the negatives.

Cons:
- Consistent usage of gender stereotypes. This bothered me, though I anticipated some of this (look at the title of the book), but was still surprised by how consistently the author painted character traits/ differing personalities solely by gender differentiation. The author also supported such stereotypes using scientific research, oftentimes without citations of any sort. Considering all the statements the author suggests are scientific fact, one would expect a footnote section ten times larger than the five pages that exist. And those footnotes would be from accredited scientific journals.
- Sales book or neuro-psychology primer? Consistent with my first con, the book is advertised as a book on marketing and sales, there is nowhere near enough on those subjects and way too much neuro-psychology. I looked several times at the author biography to double-check if they had a PhD in Biology or Neuro-psych with all the “scientific research” they include to back up their points. I would have gleaned more information were personal stories/ experiences were noted and shared. As other reviewers have noted, after a while you are left with the sense that anyone with access to Google could have written much of the book.

Pros:
- After acknowledging the cons listed above, I looked for insightful nuggets to take away from my experience. It was refreshing to read the author’s descriptions of how people think/ process information differently, and the impact those differences have on sales and marketing. (Again, cognitively shifting the emphases for such differences away from gender and towards personality types).
- The “taking it to the street” practical applications were interesting (again…). These sections were what I was hoping the entirety of the book would be about. If in a time crunch, just skip the body of the chapters and read these summaries.

If you take the material with a grain of salt (or several) and feel free to disagree with the author when they make those blanket generalizations, there is information in the book that can help you learn more about how people think.

Ain't no such thing as a squeaky clean human being

2009-07-22T00:42:00.000-07:00

For those of you that know me well, you'll know the title of this entry is one of my favorite quotes from a fellow Georgetown alum, Allen Iverson (well, we're both not graduates from GU, but that's besides the point).

He was referring to another one of his 'failures,' but I've used his quote on many a Bible lesson because of its profound spiritual insight! A.I. might as well have been quoting the apostle Paul from his letter to the Romans. You know, when he wrote, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do" (Romans 7:15).

The reason I'm sharing this now is because I've been increasingly troubled by how critical I am. Case in point, this past Sunday my wife and I were visiting a church service in Little Tokyo, and it was truly painful. The service was so devoid of ethnicity, the pastor had ADHD and made no sense, and the church's ministry vision lacked any sense of local missions!

My wife and I left feeling pretty disappointed, feeling like we wasted our time.... and we carried on with the rest of our day.

But in retrospect, the problem wasn't the church, it was me. I was irritated at myself, that I would be so arrogant that I would look down on someone else's church... a service that unquestionably still worshipped God, that still brought people into His presence. I mean seriously, what's the point of hating on that?????

I take solace in that a critical heart is a common characteristic for followers of Jesus today. Two pastors that I've been podcasting for quite some time and appreciate to the fullest, Rob Bell and Jay Bakker, have been critiqued way more from their fellow Christians than from people outside the church. They've even been called heretics! (wow, at least I'm not as critical as those people, haha. Dang!)

It stinks that we as Christians are so good at reflecting the characteristics of the Pharisees than of Jesus. I wonder what it would take for us Christian folk to be recognized more for our reflection of the Fruit of the Spirit (joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control: Galatians 5:22-23)?

Maybe that's just another one of my dreams! But maybe a good starting point would be for us to think of ourselves with more humility, and in the words of A.I., acknowledge that, "there ain't no such thing as a squeaky clean human being (us included!)"

And then here's the challenging part. Treat everyone else with the same grace!

Understanding "the other"

2009-06-26T16:10:00.000-07:00

My wife and I tend to have the types of conversations that most people don't (though I'm making an assumption, just generalizing from what we've been told by our friends). I tend to think a lot about the "ideal" church, the one I would like to be a pastor of. One of the most recent topics of conversation has been about why churches tend to neglect so many people outside of their walls.

I think one of my observations has been that we in the church have forgotten what it is like to not be part of the in-group. We as Christians are great in our understanding of developing communities, and those communities do a lot of good for individuals looking to find their voice, their place, their identity. But in creating such nurturing communities, there is an inherent risk of neglecting those outside of the group, whether by choice or social ostracism (is that a word?) Essentially, if people don't look, act, behave in culturally defined appropriate ways, they are not accepted as members of the in-group. This can be the choice of the individual in question, but quite often the homogeneity of the existing church automatically leaves those outside as outcasts.

The ramifications:
1) Churches tend to adhere to the homogenous growth principle, the ideology of the church growth movement popular in the '70s and '80s that believed that the best way to grow a church would be to focus on attracting a homogenous unit: people that were similar in culture and socioeconomic status). Thus churches tended to become more and more similar, often reflecting a homogenous group-think... having the same worldviews - dress, priorities (safety, financial wellbeing, importance of nuclear families, etc.), political opinions.
2) Those who come in contact with these churches who do not fit the patten do not feel welcomed, feel exploited (i.e., "Look at our diversity! we have this __________ person that's an active part of our church!), feel like an invisible presence at the church (as their needs and concerns are ignored or not addressed), or any combination of the above.
3) I'm sure there are a bunch more, but those two are the ones I want to focus on for this entry.

Back to 2), the impact of this is significant. Jesus, during his time of ministry, tended to focus most of his energies on those people that did not fit the societal patterns established by first century Judaism. Look at those iconic stories that we remember; the Samaritan woman at the well, Zacchaeus the tax collector, the leper, the blind man... essentially, the marginalized and outcast of the society. The "others" of their time. Even look at his disciples, Jesus' in-group was a rag tag collection of "others," with none of them really fitting in with the in-group of the Pharisees, Sadducees, and other religious leaders of the day!

It seems as if somewhere along the line, we as the church have forgotten Jesus' call to the marginalized. We've forgotten what it feels like to be marginalized, ignored, left out, even something as simple as what it feels like to "not be cool!" This is not a good thing, by any stretch of the imagination.

In dreaming of what the church can be in the present and future, I think we need to have an influx of leaders who aren't cool! We need people with the humility that comes only from being left out, of being the last one picked, of being the one made fun of by the in-groups we encounter throughout life, of having one's needs ignored and forgotten. Because its only during those times of perceived abandonment that we experience the true love that God promises. And it is those types of experiences that give us the excitement to share that love with others, and equally significant, those experiences also give us the sensitivity to look out for others that are going through the same things. We look to the fringes, we seek out the outcasts, and we commune with them, love them, and tune their sensitivities to the God that is seeking them out in a similar fashion to when God found us.

I have a dream... I think?

2009-06-08T03:19:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to start a blog. I finally caved in, though the feeling is somewhat self-serving: a blog is a great way to remember random stuff that drifts through my mind.

Before I get to the "dream," let me explain how I got to where I am. I grew up in the Christian tradition and still have a deep and all-encompassing love for Jesus. Church, however, has been an up and down experience. Don't get me wrong, I love "the church," if "the church" refers to the collection of God's people here on earth. It's just church (without the quotation marks, hehe) tended to be a more frustrating experience. (Now, at this time I could delve into my seemingly endless frustrations, but since this is entry #1 to my blog, I figure I have a lot of time). Moving on...

Whether it was any of the college fellowship groups I attended during college or any of the numerous churches I've attended (or worked at), I was often irked by an underlying spirit of complacency, if that makes sense. We seemed to take too many things for granted, a) that people would show up, b) that people knew what we were talking about, c) that people wanted to be there, d) the things we were doing were timeless and failsafe... you know what I'm talking about?

I think it comes from the fact that I've always viewed my calling in a more missional sense that I have a deep-seeded discontent with the current church paradigm. Which gets me to the dream... I'm slowly gaining the confidence and assurance that planting a church may very well be in my future. I figure this blog will help me walk through this exhausting, tedious, and I'm sure often frustrating process. I plan on blogging my thoughts/ ideas on what this potential future church could be like (along with other various musings on spiritual stuff). I hope this helps me figure things out/ grasp some sort of clarity as I try to figure out what my future holds/ gather some discernment as to what God is trying to tell me.

Not sure how this blog works, but I welcome your comments! Feel free to agree or disagree! One of the first definitions of church I want to capture is community.... since when does community have to be homogenous? How cool would it be to be a part of a church where everyone's opinions/ affiliations/ theological understandings can be shared and treasured... regardless of whether the rest of the community agrees???? Dreaming? What do you think?